Did the President of Zimbabwe really say that?


Social media is awash with various humorous sayings attributed to Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe

Some of the jokes are neither family-friendly nor respectful, and will not therefore be reproduced here.

But here are eleven of these sayings that I thought were really funny (and quite sagacious).

And while two or three of them have some ring of truth to them, I’m guessing that the rest are nothing but mere comic conjecture – which I’m sure His Excellency finds equally funny

The good Book does say, “A merry heart doeth good like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).

Hopefully, with all the political and economic uncertainties that the nation is facing, there is still a sense of humor amongst folk.


So here we go:

  1. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.”
  1. “The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.”
  1. “When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don’t take a goat as a friend.”
  1. “When one’s goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup gets suspicious.”
  1. “If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a canopy.”
  1. “If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.”
  1. “Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mother and you realize witchcraft is real.”
  1. “If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country, he must come here so that I marry him first.”
  1. “Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.”
  1. British Journalist: “Sir don’t you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President.”

President: “Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders?”

  1. Interviewer: “Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?

President: “Where are they going?”